Out of grayness, a shining light

It seems like all I have been for the last few months is sad. But today I woke up and it was like the storm clouds broke. The sun is shining through, and for the first time since dad passed I feel calm - peaceful - even happy. I don't think he'd mind a bit.

I turned on the holiday music, got my lace up shoes on, and boogied my butt into the kitchen and started working on the desk area that's been bringing me down for weeks. Every time I looked at it, I'd think "See, you will never get your finances organized - you can never get the house straightened out - you're a failure." Well today I remembered that I love myself and I am not a failure! So after a good dose of Flylady I went in and started working. Every hour I work 45 minutes and take a 15 minute break - and I already threw dinner in the crock pot so I don't have to worry about getting my fella something to eat when he gets in. And lo and behold, it's coming together even better than I hoped!

I know that anything I got done today was a blessing, and that I can do anything 15 minutes at a time :) I'm going to flutter my way out of this depression and get my good vibes back. Because Christmas doesn't have to be a depressing time - unless I let it be one. And tonight I'm making cookies for gifts for my family & friends :) Why be depressed that money's tight when everyone always raves about my cooking? Heck, I'll put together some music CD's too for everyone to enjoy - it will be a wonderfully happy holiday. And I bet Dad will enjoy it too, wherever he is!

Every one of us can only count on one day - the day we're in. I'm going to make my "today" the best day I can :)